Deja Vu

Yesterday was such a sweeeet day! Well, kinda sorta. :) I, for reasons I can't justify, was just grumpy and pooey! And it was a dumb grumpy. I got a lot done around the house, had a beautiful day and absolutley nothing to complain about, but ugh. I think it's just a total girl thing to have one of those blasted freakin days! (Or at least it makes me feel better to think I'm not psycho ALONE hahahaha so, we'll just go with that! ) Anywho...

I had just taken Kirk lunch at work, and it was a lot more fun for me then I lead on. The wheels in my head were spinning. I gave him a smootchy on the cheek, a long tender hug then I said "Well, I'm going to go." What the? I am? Okay.... I could tell he thought that too! Why do we do silly things like that, almost unconsciously? Hahahaha So I smiled and quickly recovered with, "I'm trying to get a lot done around the house, but it was really nice to see you for a minute hun. I needed it. Thanks for letting me bring you lunch sweety, I love you."

My drive home was filled with lots more of that wheel spinning buisiness going on in my head, accompinied with background music by Rascal Flatts. As I passed Chevron and made the slight curve over the bridge and up busy River Road, I watched a cop pull out of a side street and pass me by....

"Oh my goodness, I remember this,... " was exactly the magical sensation that fell over me. It was such a wonderful feeling! It felt good, light and peaceful! That cop car was just enough to remind me of this memory!!

When I was 14 years old, I dreamt this entire day.

Of course, at the time I just thought it was a wierd dream! And why I can remember being exactly 14, who knows! But I was!! In my dream I was driving back from the hospital, in a place I had never seen (at the time). I was feeling kinda funky emotionally, with a wierd previous day-like it was, and I totally passed that cop car while driving on the street! Then I pulled into our neighborhood, up to OUR HOUSE, walked in the door and that's all! I woke up! I remember the inside of my house looking completely different then it does now, but the outside was very much identical.

After I made the connection I was having Deja Vu, that familiar feeling lasted all the way up to my house. It was a drawn out 2 or 3 minutes of that spiritual awakening. I sat in my car for another 2 or 3 mintues and just bawled. I wanted to call Kirk instantly and tell him, but I knew his busy demanding work day wouldn't allow for a long phone call like I desprately wanted. So I went inside our beautiful house, and continued about my day, often recalling back on this experience.

I have always thought that Deja Vu was a tickle of the Spirit, telling us that we are where we're suppose to be. That's why tears streamed down my face when I pulled up to our house. Heavenly Father has mapped out ourlives and planned them so perfectly that He will Intervene so perfectly to ccomfort us when sometimes we don't know we need it. This is how I felt. I am married to the best man in the whole world, and we are where we are suppose to be.

Sometimes- take that back, A LOT of times it can be hard being so far away from family, close nieghbors, friends and everything we grew up with that has been embedded in our comfort zone of life. I have to keep myself continuously involved in good works or I start to miss lots of things... like being home on Fathers Day, hearing about the backstreet boys concert from my sis, hearing all the wedding plans going on in my family, grandma and grandpas, watching my friends get married and have babies... small things like that! But I would do it 5000 times over to have what Kirk and I have, and to be where we are.

Later on that day, Kirk and I went to the gym. We got on tredmills next to each other and held hands as we excercised. As usual, Kirk kicked my butt sprinting at a level 11 for a good 15 mintues... (I give all the credit to being on the fire depart., otherwise I vow I would be kicking his BOOTEY. So, you see, it's just not fair to compare under the circumstances :) ..... jk. He really is that amazing!) Anyways, I kept looking over at him running so hard, sweating so much, and loving that bright white smile he gives me back. He is the hottest guy ever. I bet every single girl at Gold's Gym wanted beat me up and take my place..... I would if I were them, and I don't blame them one bit. I have everything I have ever wanted.

Excuse the cheeseball in me, but I know, without doubt, that being in St George has allowed us progression without limits. I'm so grateful for that night when Kirk and I kneeded in prayer in the front room of his mothers house, and asked the Lord if that decision was appropriate for our new life together. It was. It has sewn our lives together faster and tighter then I knew. It has taken us to the temple every week, given us jobs-a house- a car- allowed us to meet great people. It is where we are suppose to be, and THAT alone is the ultimate feeling of accomplishment. Now, I pray that we will continue to live that Deja Vu dream to stay where we're suppose to be!

So, I'm not clueless and I know this is the creepiest picture ever! Kirk walked by and was like, "why do I look so scary?!!??!!"... I have thought the same thing of myself sense the first time I saw it too! But, it's the most recent picture of us! This is when Kirk returned from his very first REAL fire! He got the nozzle! (it's the cool position to have in a fire, he tells me :) )